Blogging 101: Dreamreader

Today’s Assignment: publish a post for your dream reader, and include a new-to-you element in it. (from Blogging101).

I’m combining that with an assignment from English Composition II on coursera. I’m not submitting the assignments, because I don’t have the time to keep up with it right now, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t write at least part of it. The assignment there is:
Who I Am as a Writer with a Cause: An Autobiographical Narrative.

I don’t really have a cause, so I’ll leave that part out, but I can write a bit about what writing means to me. And since this is quite personal, this is also new for this blog, so the Blogging 101 requirement would be met, too, I suppose.

Dear Dream Reader,

I wonder why you visit my blog?

Asking this question reveals the extent of my insecurity as a writer. Am I a writer? Why do I write? I have nothing to say. My writing sucks. My English is not good enough. I’m boring. I’m… Whine, whine, whine…

Are you bored yet? When I was a child, my escape from the world was reading. I taught myself to read when I was five, and from then on I could live in dreams when reality didn’t look so good. Inevitably, many passionate readers I know think about writing their own story from time to time, and so did I. I wrote little stories, but never quite finished them. I drew and wrote a comic, but stopped eventually because I found it silly. Of course I did, I had moved from child to teenager.

Creative writing at school wasn’t really encouraged, not at my time, not where I went to school. Going to the library became unpleasant since the librarian was a literary snob and continuously talked me out of reading the books I wanted to read and gave me books I found endlessly boring. But friends had books, too, so we had a lively exchange going on. What does that have to do with my writing, you ask?

Well, it instilled in me a sense of what ‘good books’ are, and ‘unworthy books’, ‘crap’. Unfortunately, I liked to read crap. I read and loved most of the good books, too, but I read almost everything I could get my hands on. There was no internet back then, you know? But writing, that would mean, in my mind, that you had to have a mission, something you had to give to the world to enlighten it, to produce literature. And this is definitely not something I have in me.

Later, being more exposed to more worldly places and less arrogant people, my view on the whole thing relaxed. By now I find that entertainment is just as important as enlightenment and I still read what I want. But why do I write?

I write, because I have story ideas in my head and I tried to tell those to someone who could write well. “Write it yourself,” she said. “I have ideas of my own, I don’t want to write other people’s ideas.” Sigh…

And so I started writing. I wrote stories for Dungeons and Dragons because my friends and I found that the commercial stories were not always logical and lacked originality. Later I wrote fan fiction for several fandoms, with moderate success. I wrote what I would like to read in these fandoms. I still felt inadequate, because my writing neither is funny, nor ‘light-handed’. I’m pretty good at inventing good plots, though. In the fandoms, I encountered praise, but also criticism, sometimes justified, sometimes not. Why is it that criticism always weighs heavier than praise?

Over time, my ideas went beyond fandoms. I found out that writing original characters and world building is a lot harder than it looks when you play in someone else’s playground. I shared some of my ideas with a friend, even wrote a first draft in NaNoWriMo… and it was such crap that I let the idea rest for a while. But I love writing. It gives me the creative outlet I need. I’m not good at drawing, painting, crafting… I love to do it, but I’m just not that good at it. Writing gives me some amazing moments. Sometimes I’m so tired that I fall asleep and when I jolt awake again, I find that I wrote a few interesting sentences that I can’t remember having written at all. I call it my creative subconscious.

I’ve decided that I need more confidence in English and writing, and so I looked for courses and found online courses that help. I still am not convinced that I can do it, but I keep trying. After all:

And now please give me that publishing contract.

Yours always
GaH, the wannabe writer

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2 thoughts on “Blogging 101: Dreamreader

  1. GaH,
    I don’t know you well yet. I like your article. It reminds me of what all writer seem to go through. My oldest son has been moving into becoming a writer for years. His first stories were, in his words, silly, but I encouraged him to go to college and to continue taking college courses to give him the practice and experience to know what works and does not work.

    This I know, the stories will come out in some way. It is better that you control them as you are through writing.

    As for criticism, you have a comically boring beginning badgering the reader to continue beyond the beginning by chuckling at your obvious contradiction. You are a writer with a cause. You have a story that must be told, and you have a good handle on the English language as it becomes apparent in your writing

    Ignaty.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thank you, Ignatiy! That’s very kind of you. It helps a lot to see other writers struggle with similar issues. It’s great that you encourage your son. This is what writers need, especially from their family. Not only writers, everyone who is passionate about something, be it an art, science, sports… 🙂

    Like

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