Writerly Wednesday: Home, Sweet Home

I pledgeAnother week is gone, and a new photo prompt for Rochelle Wisoff-Fields’ Friday Fictioneers is up. This time, an idea came quickly, and I wrote it down right away. That gives me more time to read and review the other entries, I’ve been a bad reviewer last week. I never manage to read and review all entries, but my goal is to review at least about half  every week.

Please read the other stories here:


lauren-moscato
© Lauren Moscato

 Home, Sweet Home

“I can see that you don’t like it.”

“Of course not, this is ridiculous. Why did you do this?”

“I wanted to give you a home, I want you to feel comfortable.”

“Comfortable? This hovel was my childhood home. It got demolished. Good riddance.”

“I saw it in your dreams.”

“Sometimes I dream about it, so what? STAY OUT OF MY HEAD!”

“I can make another home for you. Just show me what you like.”

“WHAT I LIKE? I want to leave. Let me get back to my spacecraft.”

“There is no spacecraft. Just you and me. I love you.”

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51 thoughts on “Writerly Wednesday: Home, Sweet Home

    1. Dear Doug, I had to google it, translated books and films here have different titles from the original (sadly). Could be something like this, yes, in space, and maybe a bit less scary. Thank you for your kind words.

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  1. I gotta say I was thrown a bit by the spacecraft… but the rest of it is excellent. How terrifying is the idea of a lover who can read your mind… Most people don’t want their better halves reading their emails!

    Cheers
    KT

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you! I would be terrified by mind-reading, too. I appreciate you comment on the spacecraft. In my mind this was a SciFi story, but how to convey that? Should I have kept it vague and exchanged the spacecraft with ‘home’? Thanks again, I like and need this kind of feedback.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. The word claustrophobia comes to mind when I read this. He seems controlling, and it is incredibly off-putting if someone could invade minds without force.
    The dialogue is great, and the space ship at the end was a surprise!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. You just couldn’t escape with someone able to be in your head knowing all your thoughts. I’d have to get out also. You do the dialogue well. I am just a little bit uncertain about the space craft. Is she an alien or does she just want to be away from him – like going to your own cloud?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, I’m glad the dialogue works. The spacecraft may just be one of those things that need to be cut, and the writer (cough) doesn’t want to let go. I had a SciFi Alien-Human interaction in mind when I wrote it, and thought the spacecraft would provide this information, but on reflection, it isn’t really needed for this short piece.

      Liked by 1 person

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