Friday Fictioneers: Such A Beautiful Day – C

I pledgeTime flies, and it is time for a new prompt for the Friday Fictioneers graciously provided by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

The task is to write a story: beginning, middle, and end, in 100 words or less. You can find all the Fictioneers’ stories when you click on the Froggy. Please read, comment, and if you like, join the fun. Everyone is welcome.

If you wonder about the C in the title: it means that I welcome constructive criticism, according to the guidelines of the Friday Fictioneers Concrit Subgroup.

Such A Beautiful Day

It’s a beautiful day, perfect for the vintage car rally. At lunchtime, Violet and I are leading the field.

“Celia, look!” Violet points at the one-legged serf who hands out lunch. “What…?”

“Let’s find out.” I beckon the woman over.

“Did you fight in the war, dear?”

“Yes Ma’am, I helped chase them rebels back over their wall.”

“Well done.” It was us who built the wall, but I don’t have the heart to correct her. Serfs don’t need to concern themselves with politics.

Violet and I take off again, firmly set on winning. Life is good in the Empire.

(100 words)


Prompt image: © Al Forbes. Used with permission for this Friday Fictioneer Challenge only. Any other use of this image requires Al Forbes’ permission.
Wall picture made on, a program to transform words into images. © Gah Learner


53 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers: Such A Beautiful Day – C

    1. Thank you, I’m glad you find it interesting. It’s not a woman-only world, they just happen to do as much stuff as men do. If these had been buddies driving in the rally, calling over a male veteran, would that then have been a men-only world?

      Liked by 2 people

  1. Oh .. this is rather dystopian… a little bit of “Brave new world”. I think… and scary to think about how many walls we are building… somehow recreating countries as gated communities is not going to solve anything… love the take and how you draw political points without telling us.. The word serf is so telling…

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I really liked the dystopian feel, too, and the use of “serf” to say so much about the situation. The photo hints in one direction, but who knows what year those “vintage” cars were from, and how far in the future this might be? And I like your wordseye picture too — you really are having fun with that!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! Yes, exactly that. It’s set at around 2030. I can’t stop playing with the wordseye… I haven’t even started going into rhe finer details yet, like uploading and integrating your own pictures… Halp. 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  3. The word serf was aptly foreboding. I felt sorry both for the wealthy characters and for the servant class. Both are missing an enormous part of life’s richness. You told the story well.

    I also am intrigued by the picture and the program that created it! Well done on that, as well.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! I’m glad you liked it. I find it interesting that you feel sorry for the wealthy, too–I didn’t want to portray them as evel so much as somewhat ignorant/lazy/oblivious/arrogant. I’m glad that worked. The program is great fun. So far it’s only beta, you need to wait a while before they accept you as user/tester. I hope they keep a free basic version with the paid version once they release it.


      1. Yes, it’s hard to have empathy for the rich and obnoxious, but I do feel they miss out on some wonderful experiences and true no-strings-attached friendships. When one dismisses 98% of the population as irrelevant or inferior, one never gets to know them and experience their diverse opinions/thoughts/art/beauty.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Nice take on the prompt. The portrayal was interesting for both parties. ‘Serfs don’t need to concern themselves with politics.’ was a very powerful line. It was telling about the character and the time/nation.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. What an intricate story you weave, Gah. It conjures up a particular present-day scenario. I like your use of the wall here and that he didn’t realize who was responsible for it. And of course, the winning is all that matters! Excellent story.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! Yes, they are. Sometimes I think there are all these ideology monsters from the past coming out of the ground, the ones we thought long dead. Yet here they are, rearing their ugly heads, ready to swallow us all.

      Liked by 1 person

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