Shadows – Friday Fictioneers Flash Fiction

I pledgeYet another week has passed where I was horrible with comments. I also had a hard time coming up with a story for this week’s prompt. What can I say? I was distracted. But since my country’s football/soccer team was kicked out of the European cup by our french friends last night, I’ll hopefull get my head free for more important things again. Things like the Friday Fictioneers, for instance.

As every week, we got a prompt for the Friday Fictioneers, graciously provided by our Fairy Blog Mother Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. There’ve been reruns of old prompts for a few weeks now, which is a nice break for the ‘founder-fictioneers’ because they can re-post their old stories. Newcomers like me get an interesting glimpse into the Friday Fictioneers’ past. The reason for the reruns is Rochelle’s third book, As One Must, One Can, which has a deadline in July.

The task is to write a story: beginning, middle, and end, in 100 words or less. You can find all the Fictioneers’ stories when you click on the Froggy. Please read, comment, and if you like, join the fun. Everyone is welcome.

Shadows

I knew this is a trap as soon as we evacuated the tunnels. They want us to go through that door at the end of the alley.

The white-washed houses are deserted, many thanks for small mercies. Once, this place was vibrant with life and colour. Now, all that’s left is a tree, and a blue pipe to calm the searing white.

The dragon-ship’s shadow could be part of the trap, but I don’t think so: it tries too hard to blend with the other shadows. This is our only chance. I have one grenade left. I’ll make it count.

(100 words)


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Featured image © Jan Marler Morrill. Used with permission for this Friday Fictioneer Challenge only. Any other use of this image requires Jan Marler Morrill’s permission.

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40 thoughts on “Shadows – Friday Fictioneers Flash Fiction

  1. There’s good tension and movement in this piece.
    But I stumbled over the first two lines. I believe that the tenses are conflicting between line 1 and line 2. “I knew” is past tense and “they want us to” is present tense.
    “I suspect that this is a trap…” is another option since you can’t “knew” in present tense.
    Tracey

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Whoops. I think you’re right. The first sentence is past tense, because they evacuated the tunnel, and now face the alley. The narrator knows about the trap in the past, or suspected. But it still is a trap, was then, is now. I’m not sure what to do. I changed it to ‘I knew this is a trap as soon…’ because ‘I suspect…’ changes the meaning.
      Thanks for that thorough critique, Tracey. Things like that force us to write better. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Wonderfully exotic ideas here. I love the ‘dragon ship’s shadow’, and the mystery about who they are and who’s got them trapped. I hope the grenade helps, but I can’t help thinking that they’re in a ‘Matrix” like situation, and the whole thing’s an illusion of some kind. Your story has that sort of feel to it.

    Liked by 1 person

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