Flames – Friday Fictioneers Flash Fiction

Every Wednesday we get a new picture prompt for the Friday Fictioneers, a writing challenge graciously hosted by our Fairy Blog Mother Rochelle Wisoff-Fields.
The task of the challenge is to write a story: beginning, middle, and end, in 100 words or less. You can find all the Fictioneers’ stories when you click on the Froggy. Please read, comment, and if you like, join the fun. Everyone is welcome.


Image © Anshu Bhojnagarwala. Used with permission for this Friday Fictioneers Challenge only. Any other use of this image requires Anshu Bhojnagarwala’s permission.


Flames

Today is my  16th birthday. It shall be my last.

Even as a child I knew about their feelings, their misgivings. I learned when to be quiet, and when to run. They don’t like those who are different. Like me.

It got worse lately. I can read their thoughts now. The cacophony of banality, anger, and fear scorches my thoughts, my being. I don’t know where I begin and where they end. I burn inside. Jumping into the river will quench that fire.

Although… there’s this boy. His thoughts are like a bright spark of love. A flame that heals…

(100 words)


I pledge

 

I’m not entirely happy with this one, but it was the only thing I could come up with.

Advertisements

72 thoughts on “Flames – Friday Fictioneers Flash Fiction

  1. I love this! The hero/heroine who doesn’t fit is very compelling and I love the use of fire as metaphor. And you give her hope at the end…Would make a good piece of young adult fiction – this older adolescent also enjoyed it!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Being able to read others’ minds seems to me it would be a curse. I think most people don’t really want to know what most other people are thinking, much less what they think of them. I’d think you’d end up distancing yourself from everyone — how lonely. So I appreciate your optimistic ending this time: maybe there will be a good side to this after all!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! I agree, it would be very lonely. I could think of a situation or three where knowing what someone thinks could be helpful, but if we ever get to that level (which is a possibility, from what I’ve read recently) we can kiss privacy good bye.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It would be a horrible dystopia. Can you imagine, being judged on what you *think* even if you don’t ever act on it? You’d spend all your time and effort trying to *not* think certain things, which I’m not sure is even possible. And imagine what this would do to romantic and family relationships! (shiver)

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Lots of meaning here. I’m intrigued by this character and her gift. It would be hard to ‘hear’ all the negative thoughts of others, especially when they’re directed towards you. So glad there’s the chance of love to keep her hanging in there. Nice ending.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Dear Gabi,
    I think this is terrific. It’s a wonderful concept, especially when you describe telepathy as “I don’t know where I begin and where they end.” You’ve worked through the concept very well to a semi-hopeful conclusion. Kudos!
    That said, I can see why you had doubts about it. The introduction of the boy without any foreshadowing feels a tiny bit off-key to me. That’s partly word count, of course.
    But despite that little quibble, it’s a super story, really ambitious and really powerful. You had me right in the thick of the action, Gabi; well done! I’d love to feel you were going to extend this into a longer story!
    With very best wishes
    Penny

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Dear Penny, thank you so much for the thoughtful critique. You point exactly at what I was feeling insecure about. I didn’t want it to be all negative, we’re not all always bad, are we? The love interest was and idea that came after I was struggling with the word count and you’re right, it came out of nowhere. I don’t see all love and light there either. What would you do if you found out that your love interest can read your thoughts? I would not be comfortable with that…
    Longer story… not now, not anytime soon. I’m soo slow, I don’t think I can ever get a draft finished in a way fit to show it to someone. And I’m not exactly in touch with the teenage world.

    Like

    1. Dear Gabi
      You’re not slow – you were a winner at NaNo! But I applaud your firm prioritising of what you choose to write.
      And thinking of drafts finished in the way you would like, this story is very good, you know. I agree with Rochelle – it’s one of your best.
      You’re an excellent writer, one of the best FFers. I read your stories for pleasure, not just for reciprocation.
      With very best wishes
      Penny

      Liked by 1 person

  6. I love it. The emotion in this is so raw & gorgeous. Often teenagers are made to feel by themselves, others or a mixture of both that their differences are something to be ashamed of when in reality they are the things to embrace & celebrate about yourself. I’m really rooting for the character. Gorgeous piece.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you. I find that turning a story upside down within the 100 word limit is part of the fun. 🙂 I’ve been thinking about more since it’s been mentioned so often, but I’m afraid most people wouldn’t like where the ‘more’ would take me.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. You’re right, it could be a diary, that’s a good idea. I’m glad you like the concept. Telepathy or ESP in general has been used extensively in SF… I’m not sure I could come up with more than a little twist.

      Like

  7. As an empath, I can relate to your MC. I never understood why suddenly my emotions or energy shifts. Only recently, I realised they were not my own. And being alone was far preferable than being in negative company. I tried visualising a bubble etc.. nothing helps really. But oh to be around people with wonderful emotions is amazing. I’m glad you chose this as your story.

    Liked by 1 person

By leaving a comment, you consent to your data being stored on this site. Learn more on the Privacy Policy page.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.